confessions of a horrorterror's daughter

+ caprizanthaze …How exciting to find a new face to talk to upon my return from a two-week...

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:55:51 -0400

+ caprizanthaze

…How exciting to find a new face to talk to upon my return from a two-week hiatus, least of all an alternate of a recently-interred friend.

Hello, Karkat.

cuttlefishieculler: Can we just take a moment and reelize just )(ow glubbing weird )(umans look?

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:20:07 -0400

cuttlefishieculler:

Can we just take a moment and reelize just )(ow glubbing weird )(umans look?

deadspiderwalking: Suuuuuuuup, losers. Don’t do that.

Thu, 09 May 2013 17:20:36 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

Suuuuuuuup, losers.

Don’t do that.

glubbins: im gonna hock some swag only got boonbucks in ma pocket i i im fishing hooking for a...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 11:55:25 -0400

glubbins:

im gonna hock some swag
only got boonbucks in ma pocket
i i im fishing hooking for a treasure
this is fuckin awesome

You should rap with Dave sometime.

glubbins: what what what what What?

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 00:14:31 -0400

glubbins:

what what

what

what

What?

deadspiderwalking: 8lah 8lah 8lah whatever!!!!!!!! ‘Serket’, she calls me. Jeez! Nothing. Just...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:35:57 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

8lah 8lah 8lah whatever!!!!!!!! ‘Serket’, she calls me. Jeez! Nothing. Just another stupid map I found. I think I’m supposed to overlay it on the ripped-up Furthest Ring’s map, 8ut I can’t figure out how. All it says on it’s ‘T1ck, t0ck, this is a clock.’ It’s the poor attention to apparent quirk that’s confusing. It should 8e, following with the quirk pattern, ‘c10ck.’ 8ut it 8n’t!

I’m willing to bet that that oversight constitutes a decision of some import on the part of the cartographer in question.

Besides, how do you figure that both an “L” and an “I” should be considered ripe for conversion into the number “1”?

deadspiderwalking: ‘T1ck, t0ck, this is a clock.’ More like this is a crock! Of hoof8east shit. I’m...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:23:07 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

‘T1ck, t0ck, this is a clock.’ More like this is a crock! Of hoof8east shit. I’m done with puzzles. I’ve 8een done with them for ~~years~~ sweeps! Ugh. Guess I’ll w8 for the Dread 8arista to wake up (or sleep, I guess) and then we’ll cogit8 this out. Don’t think I have the temper right now to take Windfang without a 8uffer.

I replied to this and I’m still expecting an answer, Serket.

deadspiderwalking: I did qualify it originally 8y saying ‘from insect to 8ipedal troll’. Somehow,...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 09:35:29 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

I did qualify it originally 8y saying ‘from insect to 8ipedal troll’. Somehow, we got away from that and moved into the more mammalian tr8s. Pro8a8ly a glitch on the Evolutionary Sphere Grid.

Somewhere out there are humans who, on their own evolutionarily idiosyncratic path, have started growing exoskeletons and writhing crotch-flagella.

deadspiderwalking: I’m oversimplifying, 8ut 8asically, yeah. We go a8out most stages of insect life...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 09:29:40 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

I’m oversimplifying, 8ut 8asically, yeah. We go a8out most stages of insect life cycle: hatching from the egg, constrained in growth 8y exoskeleton until passive pup8ion, skipping the nymphal stages, 8ut then of course, as with most insects, undergoing a series of dangerous trials with newfound lim8s and 8eing assigned a custodian.

I’m just saying, most insects don’t have endoskeletons.

Are trolls even insects? I certainly don’t feel like an insect.

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 09:19:46 -0400

Are trolls even insects?

I certainly don’t feel like an insect.

deadspiderwalking: No. No, I don’t. And neither do you. I retroactively sweep the collective memory...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 09:10:54 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

No. No, I don’t. And neither do you. I retroactively sweep the collective memory of them from existence.

I like to think they eloped and gaped vacuously at each other’s genitals until they died of starvation, or boredom.

Do you remember the prehensile tendrilled wonders that were our two alternates a couple months ago?

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 09:03:28 -0400

Do you remember the prehensile tendrilled wonders that were our two alternates a couple months ago?

deadspiderwalking: My feelings are 8eing hurt. I think we’re clear. Keep me away from any...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 08:59:35 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

My feelings are 8eing hurt.

I think we’re clear. Keep me away from any Elder Gods, just in case.

krabwatch:

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 08:44:00 -0400

krabwatch:

deadspiderwalking: sordsman: like i get that it wouldnt be an actual bone bc like boners arent...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 08:35:34 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

sordsman:

like i get that it wouldnt be an actual bone bc like boners arent either but ????? tentacle doesnt translate to bone at all especially if it fucking retracts

Don’t 8elieve the false anti-troll propaganda out there. The differences in aesthetic 8etween human and troll gonads are minimal. It’s only function that really differs.

Thank god for that.

deadspiderwalking: #Vrizak’s nice too. Try as you might to hide your 8ackhanded compliments, I’ll...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 17:39:41 -0400

deadspiderwalking:

#Vrizak’s nice too.

Try as you might to hide your 8ackhanded compliments, I’ll see them all.

Your vision eightfold has foiled me once again.

deadspiderwalking liked your post: comesailawway: you go ahead an do that im not… Yes,...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 17:37:37 -0400

deadspiderwalking liked your post: comesailawway: you go ahead an do that im not…

Yes, Vrizak, you are here to witness me being schoolfed on the habits of modern trolls. Your input is much appreciated. Perhaps you could contribute by explaining the system of the landed gentry, under which our dear friend ecto-Marquis Arenne may have benefited in some universe or another?

comesailawway: a course its not a prestige title adult orphaners are trained in military strategy...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 16:22:12 -0400

comesailawway:

a course its not a prestige title

adult orphaners are trained in military strategy from the time theyre hatched
theyre the highest members a her imperial galactic navvy
there shouldnt be more than a handful
they should be out commandin sections a her fleet
the lusii killin business is only somethin they can do wwhile theyre still young enough to be livvin on alternia

once they become adults they movve off planet unless a suitable replacement hasnt been hatched in wwhich case they continue doin that job until theres a wwiggler around to take their place

Thanks. I’m not much of a military mind, so my exposure to the concept of the Orphaner comes mostly from the ancient lessons in History of the Hemocaste. I’d imagine they wouldn’t remain on Alternia, of course, but it is interesting how the title has become something of a misnomer.

Then again, I suppose plenty of titles have such etymologies.

I see I’ve been rubbing elbows with some highly-ranked generals, then. That’s a high honour indeed; Her Imperious Condescension must be impressed with my work.

comesailawway: yeah fair enough wwhen youre not dreamin do you run into any orphaners I’ve...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 15:12:04 -0400

comesailawway:

yeah fair enough

wwhen youre not dreamin do you run into any orphaners

I’ve met a few of them, actually. Having close connections to the Empress in that way certainly increases my chances of being noticed and thereafter promoted to a higher echelon in the bureaucracy. Some of my professlaughterers and abhorristorians have whispered in hushed tones that governorship is not out of reach for someone with my credentials and pedigree.

I’m still not really sure what the Orphaners do these days, though, now that Alternia is a pan-galactic empire. Is it just a prestige title? Are they diplomats? Surely not all of them are twiddling their thumbs whenever they aren’t killing lusii for the Empress.

comesailawway: sounds borin Let’s slate it up to cultural differences, then. Killing is...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:45:21 -0400

comesailawway:

sounds borin

Let’s slate it up to cultural differences, then.

Killing is something I do on the clock.